A Brief History Of Conversation

monkey-business-monroe

How about those two?
Well okay. But I don’t fancy yours much. But I fancy mine.

My name? Alan. What’s yours?
Gloria.
G -L-O-R-I-A…G-L-O
Never heard that before.
Yeah. Sorry. Where you from Gloria?
West Ham
What’s that like then?
What’s what like?
Living in West Ham
Where you from?
Roehampton
Well West Ham’s probably just like Roehampton ‘cept not as fucking stupid.

What’s yours called then?
Hazel.
Go on.
No really. Never guess what her surname is.
Go on then
Oakes. She’s Hazel Oakes
Fuck off.
Seriously. Showed me her driving licence.
She’s got her own car? Could be called Danny La Rue for all I care if she’s got a car.
Yours got a car?
No –  just an attitude. Probably came in Hazel’s anyway.
Wanna lift then?
You….

How about a quick one then?
Do what?
How about a quick dance?
Right.
What did you think I meant?
You’d be bleeding lucky. No chance.
I’ll settle for a dance though, Gloria. I bet you’re a lovely mover.
Oi! What you doing?
Sorry. That’s my tobacco tin, Gloria. Fancy a roll up?
That’s efuckingnough from you, West London. Here’s my number. Call me next week.

Chicks, eh Mike? Never can tell. You off then?
Yeah. They’re dropping me off. You got some do re mi for petrol?
More front than Blackpool, you. Go on. Here’s a quid.
Cheers. I’ll tell Gloria you’re Sean Connery’s stunt double.
Fuck off.

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2 responses to “A Brief History Of Conversation

  1. befor this after that then – ? goin’ down to the Blind Beggar are we ? watch a bit of Ronnie Kray fukn madness ?

  2. I neglected to mention that Gloria Kray was the subject of this story, Spike.

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